By Roger F. Gay
This is only my second effort to handle the complex task of environmental journalism. As in the first, I welcome comments. But I'm afraid I won't have time to read them; for today I am the harbinger of dire news. It's too late. The Earth will explode from global warming within the next 10 seconds; and that's for sure, say scientists.
The final absolute (this time it's real) confirmation of global warming theory came just in time to inform participants in the 2011 UN Conference on Climate Change, and the news is much, much, much, much, much, much, much worse than ever imagined. Everything said before on the subject has come from some kind of myopic drug-induced optimistic dream-world. Most of the people previously promoting action on global warming were probably paid by Big Oil to underestimate the danger.
Unfortunately, the delay tactics held up agreement on a quick final solution at the conference. They're just going to bide their time, time we do not have, implementing centrally planned green policies in their own countries, primarily to the benefit of political friends. I'm not comforted by the fact that they're willing to implement policies even if by at least unethical if not illegal means and you shouldn't be either. It's too little, too late. As reported in my earlier piece, we're all going to “die horrible, horrible, agonizing deaths after suffering in the worst imaginable way for a long time.” So, now it's time for people to take matters into their own hands.
Unless you can get immediate help from the Q Continuum you have no choice. I'll tell you exactly what to do. Come on people, just do it. This is our last (seriously, this is it) and only chance. So don't waste time asking questions and do be quick about doing what needs to be done.
Take all your assets that have legal documents and sign them over to George Soros. That includes, houses, cars, businesses, stocks and anything else of value that can be signed over to another person. Then go to your online bank and send your remaining cash. After that, you can get further instructions by sending an email to email@example.com